Monster Apples

Following from the Green Market thing I wrote about a while (OK! so it was ages ago...) I would like to bring you: MONSTER apples.

No ordinary apples could be *this* big...they must be from Mars...possibly Pluto (but that isn't even considered a planet anymore is it?)

I feel it only fitting to sacrifice these monstrosities to some kind of God of Desserts, by slowly removing their skin with a strange, but specially designed instrument of vegetable and fruit torture. Then when I've removed all their skin, they shall be hacked into pieces mixed with spices and sugar. Their raw and spicy flesh shall then be buried under some kind of flour, solidified vegetable oil, sugar mix. THEN, only then, shall they be heated indirectly in some metal box of an inferno. After a couple hours of that, I'll eat them. HA! 'Ha' I say....